Forsaken
by Gabi1994
Summary: Can time return what fate has stolen? Will life go on when all meaning has fallen to ash? Can one night of flame and violence destroy the only thing Kaoru has ever lived for? Will the Goddess ever bring peace to her grieving soul? K
1. Chapter 1

* * *

Ch 1

Gone

Tongues of flame licked hungrily along the walls and floor, their eerie light throwing the smoke filled room into high relief. Out of the door way ran a young woman. Painful red burns on her feet and arms impeded her movement. Her long midnight black hair seemed to mirror the flames, reflecting a strange orange cast as it snaked about her slim form.

A single word burst from her throat,

"_**Kenshin**_!"

She screamed, the burning smoke and hot ash singing her lungs. She ran forward searching desperately. The ceiling groaned and she knew she had only moments before their home collapsed.

Crying out she fell to her knees as she heard a sharp _**crack**_! Time seemed to slow as one of the large ceiling beams collapsed, crashing to the floor just inches from her body. Hot burning embers sprayed out over her back as she scrambled away.

Hardly able to see through the thick black smoke, Kaoru stumbled forward, her once bright sapphire eyes stinging from the heat and smoke, trying desperately to get out. Her voice no more than a pained croak as she called out his name. '_I'm going to die here_.' She thought as she fell once more, '_No, I can't it would kill him._' Forcing herself to stand she moved forward, her severely burned feet and legs protesting her efforts.

Some how Kaoru managed to escape the burning house, the cold night air filling her oxygen starved lungs. Unable to continue she slumped against the damp wall of the building behind her home.

Adrenaline faded from her system, bringing the pain of her burns to the forefront of her mind. Darkness beckoned but Kaoru clung grimly to her last shreds of awareness. Her vision dimmed and blurred. Dark figures loomed before her, obscuring her sight of the fire.

Harsh whispers barely discernable over the roar of the fire met her ears. For a moment she thought she saw the flash of steel, before rough hands grabbed her and she fell into the welcome embrace of healing darkness.

* * *

Kaoru felt numb. Crystalline tears slid silently down her cheeks, droplets of moisture falling steadily into the loosely packed earth before her. A plain wooden marker stood at the head of the grave.

He couldn't be gone, her protector, her savior, '_no…__**No**__!_' she wanted to scream, '_it's not true. It can't be._' And she had. Temple initiates had merely looked at her pityingly. She had demanded to see the body. Not able to believe he was gone.

Reluctant they had shown her the body… barely recognizable as human, nothing more than a burnt husk. Seeing him… it had broken something deep inside her. Her outrage, disbelief, anger… it was gone, only an aching void remained an aching hole in her heart.

Unseeing her gray blue eyes stared unblinkingly at the heavy bandages covering her arms and feet. When her eyes had changed color many thought the fire had blinded her. Kaoru knew the truth her vision was unimpaired, but what was the point of any of it now. Her legs had also sustained sever burns as well as much of her back. Dull gray blue eyes now graced her features and her hair hung in dull strands down her back.

Lover, guardian… husband. A voice in the back of her mind supplied one word…

_Gone_

* * *

Widowed at only eighteen Kaoru found the thought of remarriage repulsive, she would not dishonor him in such a way. Instead she turned to the temple her injured and burned form had been left at after the fire.

Ishtar, goddess of love, beauty and war, her many scars and smoke ruined voice had designated her for the sword dance. Now at twenty-two she would achieve the rank of full priestess.

Her once lithe and untouched form now bore the scars of her ordeal with ageless grace. Her high lilting voice reduced to a low murmur, and old sorrow burned in the depths eyes the color of gray blue steel.

* * *

Most initiates to Ishtar's temple are lovely women, whose skill in music, dance or song has brought them to the goddess. For a few it is the sword, a dance of steel and death. Every day must begin and end by the sword and you must trust your partner with your life.

Most priestesses chose a permanent partner, a male swordsman with whom she could perform her dance. This man was given the title of Ishtar's consort. A "consort's" life was very closely tied to his priestesses' often acting as her sponsor, protector, even lover in some cases.

A rarity, Kaoru had never taken a consort. Though she was now twenty-five and well on her way to joining the ranks of high priestesses, she choose to complete her dance with younger, less experienced swordsmen, often still in training.

Never becoming attached to anyone in particular, Kaoru often sent her more promising "students" ,as she called them, to other priestesses, with whom they would have a chance at making consort. Aoshi had been one such example. A quiet, stoic man he had been a good match to her young friend Misao's colorful, happy temperament. Her fiery temperament and his somewhat icy demeanor seemed to complement each other well.

At the moment she worked with Yahiko, a young pick pocket the temple had taken in. he was not quite ready to complete a sword dance with her, so at dusk and dawn she completed her customary sword dance with Enishi.

As Kaoru watched Yahiko move slowly through one of the more difficult stanzas of the dance she chewed her full lower lip thoughtfully. Enishi was becoming attached to her. Though an accomplished swordsman she had yet to find a priestess who would take him…

Well, speak of the devil, she could sense his ki as he walked toward the training room she and Yahiko currently occupied. Gesturing shortly to Yahiko she turned to face the door, her simple training hakama swirling about her legs. Then the door opened revealing a tall young man, whose shock of white hair made him look older than he possibly could be.

"Ah! Kaoru, I was just looking for you. Would you like to have dinner with me now?" his tone was warm and overly familiar, as if he already held the title consort. Forcing a smile onto her face Kaoru reached behind her pulling Yahiko to her side. He struggled a bit muttering,

"What do ya think your doin' busu?"

Ignoring him she threw an arm about his shoulders and stepped inconspicuously on his foot hoping he would play along. When a forced smile plastered itself on his face she replied, her low voice pitched sugary sweet.

"I'm so sorry Enishi; I told Yahiko here, I'd help him with his kata. Isn't that right?" she said, nudging Yahiko lightly in the ribs.

"Uh, yeah…I needed some help with the um… third pass…" he managed to get out awkwardly. Kaoru winced internally, '_we need to work on his acting skills_.' Enishi's eyes took on a flinty quality and his smile hardened a bit as he said,

"That's fine, next time then." He walked out before Kaoru could respond. For a moment Kaoru glared after him fuming, before Yahiko brought her back to the present,

"Let go of me busu," removing her arm she smacked him lightly on the side of the head, "Hey! What was that for busu?!" he yelped. She glared at him.

"Third pass? Was that really all you could come up with? Sheesh! Yahiko-chan why don't you just _**tell**_ him I'm avoiding him?"

"Don't call me little! Anyways, why don't you just tell him off? Don't know what he sees in you anyway busu-" his rant was cut off as Kaoru said,

"If you're still stuck on that pass Yahiko-chan, why don't you practice it now… hmm… give me 150 repetitions."

"Aww! C'mon busu!" he complained loudly and Kaoru replied,

"200." Glaring at her he began slipping smoothly into the moves of the dance while she watched, grinning slightly. He would soon be ready to practice with live steel.

Slipping out of the room, she left. Confident Yahiko would finish his kata. Moving silently toward her quarters in the temple she opened the door to her room. It was very austere, a small table and chairs stood to the side. Her futon was rolled neatly in the corner beside her clothing chest. The stone walls unadorned save her katana.

It was a beautiful sword. Its ebony sheath had an eerie obsidian-liked quality. Iridescent greens, blues, and lavenders, glistened just below the polished surface. Elegant scrolling designs were etched lightly into the otherwise unmarred metal.

Walking up to her clothing chest she reverently removed her ceremonial clothes. A simple face veil revealed only her storm blue eyes. The fabric of the entire outfit was comprised of a white and faintly luminescent silver material.

The bodice was elegant accenting her figure to flow gracefully into a skirt, her disfigured arms exposed. The skirt held only the illusion of delicacy. It was in reality an artfully disguised pair of hakama, which cascaded about her form like true dress, but retained the versatility and freedom of the practical split legged pants. Her scarred feet she left bare, as was customary.

Securing her katana to her side she gently fingered the dagger she wore at the small of her back. Its simple silver sheath held a lovely blade of smoke gray steel. A curling pattern of delicate vines wound about the hilt which was topped by a single sapphire. The blade had a single word etched into it. Live. Kaoru never began a dance without it. One of her last connections to the past she fingered the sapphire gently.

"_Koishii, please wear this." Kenshin had pled his violet eyes lit hopefully. "It matches your eyes." He had murmured. She had laughed but humoring him, she had agreed to wear it. Kaoru had kept the small blade with her almost constantly._

It was not until after the fire that she had discovered the message on the blade. Removing her hand from the hilt she noticed absently that her white knuckled grip had left the meandering imprint of a vine across her palm. '_Yes, I will live…_' She thought as she felt the ache of her empty heart. She had become used to the fact that some part of her soul had died when she had buried her red haired swordsman.

Suddenly she became aware of a brash and untamed ki that startled her from her painful reflections. A few quick calculations had her scurrying toward the inconspicuous door at the side of her room. As she slipped through she heard a knock on her door. Ignoring it she walked quickly through the empty room.

It was traditionally given to her consort. No matter their relationship with the priestess it was a matter of both tradition and convenience for the pair's rooms to adjoin. The necessity of the dawn and sunset dances made this a very practical arrangement.

Kaoru frowned, Enishi had been bothering her about the impracticality of her dawn dance, suggesting that he could take the adjoining room… perhaps she should send him on… but Yahiko was not yet ready to perform the full dance… she brushed the thoughts aside as she heard the door to her room open.

Running out into the hall she slipped inside the room across the hall before even knocking. Carefully closing shutting the door she said,

"Sorry Misao, Enishi's being a pain. Can I-" her words died on her lips as she turned and instead of meeting the emerald green eyes of her tiny, hyperactive friend she stared at a wide expanse of someone's chest. Slowly, she raised her head to meet calm storm gray eyes. He was already dressed in the traditional midnight blue and gold of a consort.

"Opps! Sorry Aoshi, wrong room. If you don't mind, I'll just go now." She said embarrassedly, opening the door, but Aoshi's smooth voice stopped her,

"Is Yukishiro bothering you?" Kaoru forced a smile, shaking her head she replied,

"No, no it's fine, really." Aoshi eyed her silently for a moment,

"I will speak to him if you wish, Kaoru." But she shook her head.

"Don't worry; I'll take care of it." Aoshi nodded once but surprisingly, as she made to exit the room he steered her toward the door connecting to Misao's room.

A happy squeal was all the warning she got before a small body hurtled toward her, throwing her off her feet to fall against Aoshi's strong chest. A startled

"Omph!" escaping her at Misao's enthusiastic greeting. Then Misao exclaimed,

"Sorry! Hi Kaoru, what're you doing in Aoshi's room?" her voice a happy chirp, laughing Kaoru disentangled herself from Misao's hug and said,

"I was hoping to wait for sunset in your room, but Enishi was early this evening, so I had to use an alternate exit. I _**thought**_ it was your room." Both women smiled apologetically at the tall silent man who watched them, a bemused expression in his usually unreadable gaze. Misao shook her head

"We need to get you a permanent consort. Then you wouldn't have these problems." Misao's tone was light and joking, but Kaoru felt dull ache in her chest intensify and had to work to keep a pained expression from reaching her face. Misao meant well.

"Misao! I've already told you, I like helping the trainees." Thankfully Misao accepted the feeble excuse and turned the conversation to lighter topics.

Soon the deep toll of a bell was heard and the three stood, walking toward the temple courtyard. Misao and Aoshi heading for their position on the wings, and Kaoru walking toward her spot near the center where Enishi already stood.

As she walked over Kaoru nodded to each of the priestesses and their consorts, bowing respectfully to the two high priestesses. Kotari Miyaki and Natoma Ariya nodded politely to her from their position at the center of the dance. They were soon joined by their consorts Hatashi Kieve and Onimara Hiwatari.

Walking up to Enishi, Kaoru noticed his ki was more agitated than usual, but she brushed it aside; there was no room for distraction during the dance. Suddenly, the peal of the bell was heard again and the pairs separated, facing each other, swords drawn. As the sound of the bell died the high quavering notes of a flute were heard and the dance began.

This is what Kaoru relished, the knowledge that a single mistake or moment of hesitation would place her in the path of her partner's blade. Both must move in perfect synchronization with the other to succeed.

The closer you stood to the center of the formation, the less room there was for error. Those on the edge of the formation were more or less stationary, while the center pairs actually rotated about one another in a ceaseless blur of moment, both about their partner and among other pairs.

The dance was a true tribute to their goddess, the beauty and grace of their dance with the elegant brutality of the sword. As she finished the last thrust, Kaoru spun to face Enishi, bowing in the customary end of the dance.

Straightening she meant to go directly to her rooms, when she heard her name. Turning to see how called, she was mildly surprised to see Miyaki and Ariya beckoning her. Walking over she bowed politely, Miyaki smiled warmly at her saying,

"Kaoru, you know of the spring on the far side of the city, correct?" Kaoru nodded, "Recently it has been dedicated to Ishtar and a pair was requested. Would you be willing to perform a noon dance?" Kaoru smiled saying,

"I would be honored to. If I may, who will be playing flute?"

"We planned on sending Tae." Ariya replied and Kaoru nodded pleased. She was well acquainted with the musician and knew the warm and friendly woman was a good choice for a public ceremony.

"Thank you Miyaki-san, Ariya-san, I'm glad Tae will play flute, if you would excuse me?" They nodded to her and she dipped a quick bow as she hurried off to find Misao. Turning, Kaoru just barely managed to avoid barreling straight into Enishi.

Glaring up at him she wondered why he was standing so close in the first place.

"Where should I meet you after the dawn dance?" He asked as though he hadn't just been eaves dropping on her conversation. She sighed. Aoshi's calm and collected professionalism had spoiled her, though she was even beginning to miss Sano's brotherly affection at this point, so maybe it was just Enishi, with his tones and implications and awkward invasions of her personal space. In a clipped voice she replied,

"Around ten, in the courtyard. Good evening Enishi." An obvious dismissal.

As she began to turn away he said,

"Let me walk you to your room, Kaoru." Enishi placed a hand at the small of her back, Kaoru immediately dug in her heels. Mentally she reined in her desire to smack the over bearing young man in the head… repeatedly, with her sheathed katana. Perhaps a minor concussion would take his mind off of romantic advances.

Instead, a well placed grip on his wrist forced him to remove his hand form her person and step away. So quickly, Kaoru doubted he even realized what exactly she had done.

"I'm sorry Enishi I'm meeting with Misao soon. So I will just be off now."

Hurrying toward the baths Kaoru scowled. It wasn't even his touch that bothered her. It was his arrogant assumption that she wanted, even needed him. Despite, or perhaps in spite of her very clear statements to the effect of- You are in training and are not to become romantically attached to me. Ever.

He acted as though she, with her disfigured form, would be lucky to find anyone, much less an accomplished and well off man such as himself that would have her. Idly she contemplated setting Sano on him, but dismissed the plan. She wanted him to back off, not beaten to a bloody pulp, which not even Megumi, their brilliant temple healer and Sano's wife would be able to save.

Kaoru grinned thinking of the couple. Megumi had been a sword dancer, but she had quickly given it up in favor of becoming the temple healer. And to the surprise of all, perhaps Megumi most out of everyone, her relatively new consort, Sano, had followed her, after a few months marrying the brisk and fiery kitsune.

Kaoru was nearing the baths. Slipping into the women's changing rooms she snagged a robe and towel. Shrugging out of her ceremonial clothing she folded it placing her katana and dagger underneath her clothes on a bench.

Pulling on a bathing robe she walked out into the large women's bathing pool. Smiling, she nodded politely to a few of the women, before making her way toward Misao, where she sat in a quiet corner of the pool.

Joining her Kaoru slid happily into the steaming water and wet her long waist length hair. Turning as Misao said,

"What took you so long, Kaoru?" Misao's grin nearly taking off her ears as Kaoru replied,

"Miyaki-san and Ariya-san chose me to do a noon dedication dance." Misao's excited squeal echoed loudly through the stone chamber, drawing everyone's attention to the pair. Misao smiled apologetically at Kaoru whispering,

"Sorry, that was loud." Kaoru just grinned. Grabbing a handful of soap sand and beginning to wash she listened to Misao's happy chatter. Scrubbing her hair she rinsed quickly and the two stepped out of the water. Wrapping in bath robes both women grabbed their things and hurried to Kaoru's room.

* * *

"Wow! I can't believe you'll get to do a public dedication ceremony. That's so cool." Misao said as she gently helped Kaoru rub a thick cream onto her scars. Megumi had created it specifically to help Kaoru keep the large areas of scar tissue on her body from toughening and restricting her movement.

At one time Kaoru had hoped that her scars might heal, but she knew now that they were permanent, irrevocable reminders of his death and her grief. They might be softened or smoothed but nothing would ever heal the damage done to her body. Her scars were as much a part of her as her black hair or gray blue eyes.

"I know I couldn't believe it either. Oh, and Tae will be playing flute." Kaoru said

"I'm telling you, you'll make high priestess soon." Misao said a sly look coming into her emerald eyes as she continued, "You know, once you make high priestess it will be very hard to take on students. You'll have so many other duties and your part in the dance will be much more complex." But Kaoru was shaking her head.

"Misao, I can't. I don't need a consort." For a moment Misao gazed sadly at her ad seriously said,

"He would have wanted you to be happy." Kaoru shook her head slowly,

"I know Misao, and I am… but I can't betray his memory like that…"

Unshed tears glistened in her steel blue eyes and Misao pulled the older women into a hug."You're right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up." Pulling back Kaoru smiled sadly at her, saying,

"I know you mean well, maybe one day I'll find the right someone." Misao nodded flopping happily on the futon the two sat on.

"Just as long as it isn't Enishi I solemnly swear, I'll be the one who helps you find your special someone, eventually. You helped me find Aoshi, one day I'll return the favor."

Kaoru smiled at her friend's light hearted tone. She refrained from mentioning that she had already found that person… fate had just taken him away all too soon.

* * *

Misao had gone to her room a while ago and it was nearing midnight as Kaoru quietly slipped into the inner rooms of the temple. Her bare feet padding silently over cool stone, Kaoru moved quietly toward the inner sanctuary.

A single shaft of silvery moonlight illuminated the low alter at the center of the room. A statue stood upon the alter. Made of pure white marble the feminine figure held a sword in one hand the other placed demurely at her side.

Slowly Kaoru knelt before the alter. She liked to think that even in death her violet eyes swordsman held a place in her fearsome goddess' heart. Kenshin had been a warrior in the truest sense of the word. Loyal, brave, honorable he had killed to protect his actions never tainted with malice. He had lived to protect the innocent and he had died no doubt searching for her, just as desperately as she had searched for him.

Again Kaoru felt a pang of guilt. As her sorrow crashed over her in waves she pressed her forehead to the cool stone floors. She felt a few tears escape her lids dripping silently to the floor. Softly she began to speak,

"You know Kenshin, I still miss you. They say time will heal all hurts, but it's been seven years…I want you to know when you left, I think you took something of mine… but even if I never get it back, my time with you was worth all the pain…" her voice trailed off and for a long time she knelt in silence. Then she began to speak her voice stronger,

"Misao's been so kind lately; I think you would have liked her. I don't know what I'd do without her." a small smile crossed her face, "She's so happy and cheerful. It reminds me of you on one of your good days." Sitting up, Kaoru bowed her head reaching out to touch the feet of her goddess.

"Oh, goddess! I've missed you Kenshin, but tomorrow I'm going to perform a noon dance. It's a wonderful opportunity… I have to go now but I'll come again and tell you how it goes." Rising to her feet she moved away from the alter slipping out of the sanctuary toward her room.

Strangely she failed to notice she was not alone. A tall figure stood just outside the sanctuary, shaking in silent rage.

* * *

Hey, what are you doing? (Author back slowly away from torch and pitchfork wielding mob) Ack! Don't hurt me! I promise it's not as bad as it sounds. (Skitters away from a particularly menacing fan girl) Wah!!!! If you kill me, I'll never get the next chapter up. (Rabid fans hesitate for a moment.)

Ok, good see we can all work out our differences in a peaceable manner. Yikes! (Ducks to avoid rotten tomato,) Fine, just bear with me for one more chapter. Things will get better, you'll see. (Author shakes fist at mob) Sorry, sorry please don't hurt me! (Author grabs laptop and hides underneath a convenient rock)

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin (Author rocks back and forth making small mewling cries)

**Please review! **(even if only so you can berate me for such a depressing plot line)

^_^


	2. Chapter 2

Ch 2

Fallen

During the dawn ceremony Kaoru noticed Enishi seemed more forceful. His movements were stiff and unnatural. Writing it off as nerves Kaoru headed off to speak with Tae, only to feel the touch of a hand at her waist. Kaoru stiffened, moving quickly out of Enishi's range. Her gray blue eyes flashed with suppressed anger. Quietly she asked,

"What is it Enishi?"

"Would you like me to accompany you?" he asked, as he stepped closer. Taking a step back Kaoru crossed her arms over her chest, in a slightly defensive posture. Tilting her head back to look Enishi in the eye she replied,

"Enishi, I need only speak to Tae. I don't need a companion."

Again he stepped forward invading her personal space and Kaoru was sorely tempted to break a few bones. As he opened his mouth to speak but she turned away, moving quickly in the direction of Tae's room.

Walking down one of the empty corridors Kaoru nearly screamed as a large hand closed around her wrist, pulling her back. A quick twist of her hand freed her arm and she stepped away quickly, cursing the persistent Enishi and her own failure to notice his presence till he grabbed her. Turning to face Enishi, Kaoru nearly snarled,

"What do you _**want**_, Enishi?" He looked affronted by her cold greeting,

"I only thought that as I am also participating in the noon ceremony, I should help you make the necessary arrangements." Kaoru glared, that was the role of the consort, and as Enishi well knew, she never allowed her students to take on any of those duties lest there be misunderstandings.

"I have already made all the necessary arrangements. I chose a few servants and one of the temple initiates to accompany us. Tae is a good friend of mine and I would like to speak with her. I will see you at ten." With that she walked away.

Kaoru sighed; she probably could have handled that better. He would be fuming for the next few hours and right now she really didn't need him distracted.

* * *

Tae was a good friend of hers; Kaoru had always liked the older woman. Her kind demeanor and almost motherly affection for Kaoru had made her one of Kaoru's first friends in the temple.

Knocking quietly on the door she heard Tae's muffled voice say,

"The door's open." Slipping inside Kaoru smiled at Tsubame the young temple initiate she had chosen to accompany them.

"Good morning, how have you been Tae?" Kaoru asked

"Good, good, how about you? I hear Enishi's been giving you a hard time." She asked kindly. Kaoru winced.

"I'm fine, how'd you hear about that any way, I could have sworn I was trying to keep it quiet." Tae smiled at her as they both said,

"Misao," though Tae's happy chirp contrasted sharply with Kaoru's groan. Tsubame smiled softly as she watched the pair's friendly banter. Eventually the three separated to change into their ceremonial clothing.

* * *

The walk to the spring was brisk and cheerful. Kaoru chatted quietly with Tae and Tsubame while Enishi trailed them. The three servants accompanying them were, Kuri and Yura, two young girls and an older man, Matanami, all people that Kaoru knew and trusted.

A small crowd had come to watch the dance. As they gathered, the hot sun beat down heating the stone beneath Kaoru's bare feet. Facing Enishi she drew her katana. They would rotate clockwise about the spring. In theory their dance would end with both dancers facing the east.

As the haunting notes of Tae's flute rose, winding through the hot, dry air, they began. Kaoru lunged forward her blade coming to a stop inches from Enishi's chest as he spun sideways his blade slipping past her head. Quickly she ducked under his blade beginning, her spin to the left.

Their movements became faster and faster, till their motions were a mere blur of dark and light and flashing steel. Suddenly the music stopped and Kaoru and Enishi paused, their bodies motionless for one long moment before sheathing their swords and bowing first to the east and then to each other. The crowd stood in reverent silence as Tsubame's soft voice was heard speaking a prayer of dedication.

_Goddess, hear our prayer._

_You have provided in times of war and in times of peace._

_With your blessing our warriors fight honorably in your name._

_When your face is turned from us we falter in the face of our enemies._

_With your blessing our marriages prosper and our women are blessed._

_When your face is turned from us there is strife among the people and our women are barren_

_We pray that you accept our feeble offering as gratitude for your goodness_

_May your star rise in the eastern skies with a blessing for our people_

Kaoru smiled Tsubame had done very well. She didn't doubt that Tsubame would make a fine priestess one day.

The dance had finished without a hitch and Kaoru found herself eating a rich meal at the house of one of the spectators. It was nearly five in the afternoon when their party finally escaped the clutches of their well meaning hosts.

* * *

Kaoru's fine white veil fluttered about her face in the slight breeze. Glancing about she wrinkled her nose, they were passing through the slave markets. Disgusted, Kaoru averted her eyes keeping her gaze on the dusty cobblestones at her feet.

Suddenly out of the corner of her eye she saw a flash of red. Her gaze lifted of its own accord to stare directly into enraged golden eyes. For a moment, she thought she saw a flash of hope in them before a deep sadness filled their depths and anger blotted out all other emotion.

For a moment she stared in shock at the small, leanly muscled man. She felt Enishi knock into her and for once she didn't care. Her feet seemed rooted to the spot as her gaze raked over his form.

His body was covered in scars that marred his tanned skin; his once long red-gold hair had been roughly sheared off at shoulder length and heavy metal cuffs wrapped about his wrists and ankles. Around his neck was a slave's collar, yet instead of leather it was heavy and made of steel, containment runes had been etched into the dull metal.

Initially she tried to quench the hope she felt. Kenshin was dead. This man just looked eerily similar to him. Suddenly the man turned his head and her eyes fell upon the deep cross shaped scar on his left cheek and then she knew… it didn't matter how or why, perhaps it was not the same man. But she could not let the chance slip away.

She felt a gentle tugging on her hand. Glancing down she met Tsubame's worried gaze,

"Is something wrong?" she asked timidly. Numbly, Kaoru shook her head. Looking up she caught Tae's eye. Something in her expression must have been different because Tae immediately hurried over, discreetly edging Enishi away from her.

"What is it Kaoru?" she asked quietly

"That man, he would be an asset to the temple wouldn't he?" For a moment Tae watched her confused, before slowly nodding her head as she understood,

"The temple does have funds set aside if a specific person has the need." She replied, before leaning closer and whispering, "I don't know what this is about, but are you sure?" again Kaoru nodded.

Then the Auctioneer's voice was heard as he began,

"Look at this fine specimen, gentlemen, the perfect type of slave for a bodyguard or even a personal body servant. He's got the looks don't he? " the man winked lewdly at the crowd.

So as the bidding began Tae reluctantly made an offer. Most of the bidders dropped out when they noticed it was the temple that wanted him. It was good etiquette to allow the temple first rights. Only one other party continued to bid the price up, receiving a glare from the usually mild mannered Tae.

Kaoru's eyes stayed rooted on the man. His small frame fairly crackled with rage and power. Again she felt a gentle tug on her hand. Glancing down at Tsubame who asked,

"Kaoru, what are you doing? Why do you want that slave?" Kaoru shook her head saying,

"No, Tsubame not a slave. Do you see that man's stance? He holds himself like a warrior. His hands have a swordsman's calluses." Slowly, Tsubame nodded.

Kaoru ignored the servants as they murmured that perhaps she was finally taking a consort. Enishi seemed unusually quiet, but Kaoru was too distracted to notice his glare as it bore into her back.

Finally, the party bidding for the man backed down and Tae's offer was accepted. Stepping forward Kaoru whispered to Tae,

"Have the shackles removed." But when Tae requested it of the auctioneer he had laughed saying,

"You want us to free, Battousai? Ha! That's rich! This man has already killed two of the guards. So, tell you what priestess, we'll keep him in irons and you can do what you wish with him once he's at the temple. Keh! Give him to one of your warrior women for all I care, I'm sure she can make him into a good little consort." The man sneered.

Two burly guards marched the small man off the auctioneer's platform toward them, handing the ends of his chains to Matanami who took them nervously, casting questioning glances toward Kaoru. The poor man eyed the red head warily as if he expected him to attack at any moment. But Battousai seemed intensely interested in the small woman clad in white.

* * *

Battousai let his rage fill his aura. The nervous looks the auctioneer kept giving him proved it was well worth the effort. They had shackled him hand and foot, striping him down to only a pair of cut of breeches. He almost wished it had been him that he'd killed, the pig deserved it, almost more that those two guards.

Sick men, they'd been attempting to rape one of the young girls. Even slaves had rights, and the poor thing couldn't have been more than fourteen. Even chained killing them had been simple. They had died quickly and silently, their necks broken by a deft twist of his chains.

After the incident he'd been shackled to a post at the center of the slave pens. The girl had decided he looked safer than the others and had spent most nights curled at his side. Battousai couldn't find it in himself to begrudge her any protection he might have afforded. Her small warm body had been a comfort when the temperatures plummeted in the evenings. He hoped she found a fair master.

Scanning the crowd he caught sight of a cascade of blue black hair. Despite himself he looked up only to meet eyes the color of gray blue steel, rather than the sapphire, he so desperately craved. '_Baka deshi, why do you even try anymore? She's been dead for years._'

The strange woman wore a delicate veil that covered her features and her bare arms and legs showed large swaths of deep scarring. Angry with himself for even hoping Battousai turned away from her.

As the auctioneer began his spiel Battousai couldn't help directing his ki toward him. Battousai almost smirked as the man began to sweat nervously. As the bidding began Battousai found he did not care who bought him.

His own leaders had sold out on him. Setting up an ambush to capture him, they said he was too dangerous, that his unpredictable tendencies had to be stopped.

Suddenly the auctioneer's voice caught and held his attention. He stilled as the word consort met his ears. Baleful golden eyes lifted to glare piercingly at the small grey eyed woman. Suppressed glimmers of hope hovered in her sad gaze.

He found himself reaching out to test her ki. He was surprised to find that he could sense nothing from her at all. As two nervous guards handed him off to a wary servant Battousai worked to discern her intentions. The gossip of two young girl servants was not at all comforting.

"Can you believe she's finally taking a consort?" one whispered,

"I know, I don't see why she went for a slave though, plenty of the other trainees would have done anything for the title… at least he's good looking." The other said as they giggled softly.

Soon they reached the temple. Ishtar's temple, Battousai found himself wracking his brains for any useful information pertaining to the goddess. He knew next to nothing. Only that she was the patron goddess of love, beauty, and war. These priestesses would soon learn what an unwilling slave he could be.

* * *

As they entered the temple Kaoru's thoughts were whirling with the implications of her actions. As she hurried off to find the high priestesses she gave instructions to one of the servants,

"If you would just get a good meal in him; you can dig up an extra set of training clothes for him to wear; he should be around my size." The woman gave her an odd look which she ignored, "He can stay in the room off mine. I'll be able to get those irons off." With that she walked away to speak with Miyaki-san and Ariya-san.

Kaoru quickly located the priestesses in the temple courtyard. Hurrying up to the pair she bowed saying,

"Miyaki-san, Ariya-san, I must speak with you privately." Both women nodded and the three walked quickly into the temples inner rooms.

"What is it you need to speak to us about?" Ariya asked curiously. Nervously, Kaoru chewed her full lower lip, considering her answer.

"In the slave markets today, I saw a man I thought I knew… Until now I had thought him dead, I apologize but I couldn't let the chance that it might be him slip away. I bought him using temple funds." Miyaki's voice was soft and understanding as she asked,

"Who do you think this man is?" her voice almost inaudible Kaoru murmured,

"My late husband…" both women were silent for a long moment. Finally Miyaki stepped forward pulling Kaoru into a hug,

"For your sake I hope he is. You have our blessings even if you choose to leave the temple." Kaoru smiled tears of gratitude glistened in her eyes as she whispered,

"Thank you" and hurried from the room. Poking her head back in she asked,

"Umm, I know he's temple property, but please, may I remove his collar?" both women agreed, nodding emphatically, no woman wanted to see her loved one in irons.

As she walked toward Misao's room she wiped her eyes, if she was wrong this man would break her heart. She didn't think she would survive losing him again. Slipping into the room she met Misao's wide eyed gaze. Kaoru had belated realized that she had never acquired the keys to his shackles, by the time she remembered, nothing could have convinced her to go back to the slave markets.

"C'mon spill Kaoru. The whole temple's buzzing, something about a slave and you and possible consort appointment. Explain. Now." Walking over Kaoru quickly pulled aside a small wall hanging. From the corner of the cloth she slid out a few thin pieces of metal.

"I will, I promise Misao. I… I think it may be Kenshin." Kaoru avoided her friends shocked gaze fiddling with the slender metallic pieces in her hands, "I could be wrong, but I couldn't leave him there… they were treating him like an animal." She felt Misao's slender arms slide around her shoulders holding her close.

"But what if he's not, Kaoru, you buried your husband. Seven years ago." Kaoru nodded and her voice was filled with raw emotion as she murmured,

"I know." Misao smiled softly at her,

"In that case I will pray to the goddess that by some chance of fate it is him… well, go on what are you waiting for? Go speak with him." Misao chirped shooing Kaoru out of the room.

A small smile graced Kaoru's face as she slipped across the hall into her own room. Quickly she changed out of her ceremonial clothing removing the veil over her face and pulling on an ice blue kimono with a midnight blue obi. Slowly she took a seat at the small wooden table. And let her head fall into her hands. She was a fool…

The gentle clink of chains startled her from her reverie. Slowly, Kaoru stood, taking a deep breath she scooped up the lock picks and walked up to the door connecting to his room. For a moment she stood on the other side of the door. Raising a white knuckled hand she knocked softly. All sounds from the other room ceased and Kaoru softly called out,

"May I come in?" for a long moment he didn't respond. Finally she heard a smooth, strong voice reply,

"Yes." Kaoru felt her heart lift, time had long since dulled her memories of him, but this man sounded for all the world like Kenshin. Hesitantly, she opened the door and slipped into the room.

Battousai stood directly opposite the doors. Instead of dirty brown trousers he wore a clean set of her training clothes. His piercing golden gaze seemed to bore into her face. Battousai studied her features. She looked so familiar, yet he did not know her. Some distant, long forgotten part of him screamed that she was his. But neither her voice nor her eyes were familiar.

"I can remove those chains for you." Kaoru said, meeting Battousai's eyes. Her low voice didn't waver nor did she look away from his searching gaze.

Slowly, the man inclined his head. Silent, Kaoru padded forward. Lifting one of the heavy wrist cuffs she turned the cold metal gingerly in her hands. Finding the key hole she carefully extracted the correct lock pick. Silently thanking Misao for teaching her this rather questionable skill.

Inserting the thin oblong piece she fiddled with it gingerly. After a few moments she heard a soft click. Removing the pick she opened the cuff. Kaoru hissed softly in sympathy, the skin beneath the harsh metal had been rubbed raw. Fresh scabbing made mottled patterns over his wrist. Immediately, Kaoru set to work on the opposite cuff.

Soon it too came off and as Battousai rubbed his wrists gingerly as Kaoru picked the locks on his ankle cuffs. Freeing him from the heavy chains Kaoru stood.

"Lift your head, so I can remove the collar." She said. Battousai eyed her warily, before lifting his chin so she could access the key hole. He flinched as her slender fingers brushed against his throat. As she touched the collar she felt the gentle warmth of the containment spells, thankfully, they recognized her and she was able to insert one of her thin tools.

This lock was more complex than the others and by the time a soft click was heard Kaoru had inserted three different picks. Concentrating, she angled the thin picks carefully trying to align the lock's intricate tumblers correctly. Finally, she was able to remove the heavy contraption. Revealing a ring of enflamed and bleeding flesh.

"I can't remove the containment spells, I apologize. We would need a mage for that. Until then I wouldn't suggest that you left the temple grounds."

Slowly rotating his neck Battousai eyed her suspiciously,

"What do you want from me, priestess?" He asked his tone cold and distant.

"Nothing. Why do you ask?" Kaoru replied her low voice tinged only with curiosity. Determinedly, Kaoru clenched her hands behind her back. Every bone in her body wanted to reach out. To touch him, to know he was real.

Battousai's eyes glinted dangerously

"I assure you, priestess, I would make a very bad bedmate." Despite herself Kaoru felt her anger flare,

"And just what makes you think I need one?" She asked her voice cold. Battousai's jaw clenched, and before Kaoru could react strong calloused hands had grasped her upper arms lifting her off her feet. His flashing golden eyes inches from hers as he hissed,

"Don't take me for a fool! I don't care if you own my soul. I will not become another woman's consort." Battousai felt the cool prick of metal just below his ribs,

"Put me down." Kaoru said her voice calm.

For a moment he considered disarming her and demanding an explanation, but it was likely she would scream and he did not wish to kill the woman. Slowly, he lowered her to her feet.

Removing his hands from her, they clenched white knuckled at his sides just as her small dirk disappeared among the folds of her kimono. Battousai thought he saw a flash of blue but disregarded the notion.

"Yes, Ishtar's consort, it's a title given to the men who participate in the traditional sword dance. They usually pair with a specific priestess and it is their duty to begin and end each day with the religious ceremony." She said her voice cool and collected as if nothing had occurred. For a moment Battousai merely blinked at her finally comprehending the true meaning of the servants' gossip.

"You see swordsman, you are not mine, nor do I own you. As of this moment you belong to the goddess. If you make consort, you will most likely be freed." Kaoru said, one part of her screaming to tell him the truth, while another part almost didn't want to let him see her like this.

"Good evening Battousai," Kaoru murmured turning toward the door. She felt her heart squeeze painfully as she walked away. Opening the door she heard him say,

"My name is Kenshin." Allowing herself a quick glance over her shoulder she said,

"I know." Though her voice was nearly inaudible, Kaoru knew Kenshin had heard her, yet instead of hurling herself into his arms she walked away shutting the door and blocking her view of his bewildered expression.

Walking out of her room she headed toward the infirmary. Poking her head through the door way she spotted Megumi. Slipping inside she walked over to the woman.

"Hi Megumi, did you hear?" She asked as she stopped beside the woman where she was busy making a fine powder from dried shepherd's purse leaves.

"Yes, I did, so tell me; tanuki is there any truth to the stories?" Softly, Kaoru replied

"I think he's my husband." Megumi's hands stilled and she turned to face Kaoru

"And is he?" Mutely, Kaoru nodded

"So why aren't you all over him, hugging and crying and making up for seven lost years?" The ever practical Megumi asked. Quietly, Kaoru confessed,

"He doesn't recognize me." Megumi arched an elegant brow saying,

"And you aren't enlightening him because…"

"Look at me, Megumi, I'm not the same girl I was seven years ago. I'm damaged."

"Tanuki, you're even denser than I thought you were, if you think that poor man cares." Megumi said, her eyes serious, "I take it he is in some way injured and you would like me to take look at it?" Kaoru nodded saying,

"Thank you, Megumi." But Megumi waved her off,

"I'm dying to see what the man who won your heart looks like." She said grinning mischievously as she grabbed her medical kit and walked toward Kaoru's room.

Glancing outside Kaoru judged she had enough time for a light meal before she had to perform her evening dance.

Walking slowly toward the kitchens Kaoru thought about Kenshin, he was just as proud and strong as she remembered, but this Kenshin was hurting and his anger lashed out violently.

Thinking back she couldn't remember a single occasion when Kenshin had lashed out at her in anger. Somehow his anger didn't frighten her as much as it probably should. She knew him, and he would never intentionally injure an innocent.

Slipping into the kitchens she was recognized and one of the servants who knew her smiled handing her a tray with enough for two people.

Thanking the woman quietly, she stole silently through the hallways slipping unnoticed into her room. Placing the tray on her table Kaoru knocked softly on the door. She heard Megumi's voice ring out,

"Come in!" Entering Kaoru was quickly drawn into the room by Megumi, who, thrusting a few rolls of clean bandages into her arms said,

"He'll be fine. Just make sure you change the bandages at least twice a day morning and evening. More often if they get soiled." She instructed before winking slyly at Kaoru and bustling out of the room.

"And that was Megumi, she's like that. She means no harm." Kaoru said as she tucked the rolls of bandage into the near empty clothing chest situated in the corner. Standing, she said,

"I'm sure you'd like a meal, will you join me?" Kenshin was studying her face intently,

"Thank you priestess, I appreciate it. And you would be…" he trailed off

"Your mentor, I will teach you the sword dance. Come." Kaoru replied, purposely withholding her name. Quietly, she padded into her room. Though she couldn't hear him she knew Kenshin walked behind her.

Placing the two meals on the table Kaoru took her seat as Kenshin lowered himself into the opposite chair, his amber gaze sweeping the room, finally coming to rest on her. To all appearances she ignored him. Eating her meal quickly and neatly, as she finished she sat back watching him as he ate.

His movements were precise and graceful; Kaoru found herself following his hands with her eyes. Her fingers itched to reach out and bury themselves in his thick red hair. Kaoru hated that it had been sheared off.

Kenshin kept his attention trained on the woman. It was obvious she knew him, but why didn't she tell him her name? He found his gaze drifting to the futon that sat, neatly folded in the corner. Her indignant outrage had been real when he had insinuated her intentions, yet the rooms adjoined. Everything about her was excruciatingly familiar and at the same time completely alien to him.

As he finished she cleared the plates setting them on the tray. Rising he had stood uncertainly before she quietly said,

"You should rest; I have a sunset dance to prepare for." Kenshin nodded and slipped silently into his room. While Kaoru quickly changed hurrying out to the courtyard as the bell rang loudly.

* * *

Kaoru hadn't returned to her room until over an hour past sunset. She had soaked in the baths for over an hour trying to work up the courage to tell Kenshin the truth. Yet, here she was, still blissfully undecided.

Slipping out of her ceremonial clothing she set her dagger on the table. For a long moment she stared mutely at the ornately tooled blade, her gaze lingering on the deeply blue sapphire. It was useless she was nothing like the girl of her past. How could she expect Kenshin to recognize her now?

Slowly she pulled on a soft cream yukata. Laying out her futon, Kaoru sat, legs folded beneath her. Though her back was to the door, she knew the moment he entered the room.

His movements were silent, but Kaoru had always had a sense for him. She felt his presence as he hesitated by the door. Softly, she said,

"Good evening Kenshin." The silence behind her was deafening. She heard the soft clink of metal as he lifted her dagger off the table. There was a slight rasp as the blade was drawn from the sheath. Kaoru let her blue gray eyes slip closed. She felt a whisper of air on her skin.

Warm, calloused fingers brushed softly over her cheek bones. One gentle hand cradled her face tenderly as his thumb brushed across her full lower lip.

"Koishii, please… Please look at me Kaoru." His words were soft, his voice breaking.

Slowly Kaoru opened her eyes. Silvery tears glistened in their depths. Kenshin was on his knees his face level with hers. His heart broken face was suffused with anguish and his eyes were lit with a fragile hope. Raising her hand Kaoru gently traced the cross shaped scar on his cheek.

"Don't look so sad, nothing that happened was your fault. Please Kenshin, don't blame yourself."

Suddenly Kenshin crushed her to his chest burying his face in her thick black hair. His strong frame trembled as he whispered her name. Desperately he clutched her to him as if afraid she would disappear.

Kaoru clung to him, basking in the warmth and security of his presence. And for the first time in as long as she could remember Kaoru felt whole. He was real, he was here and she was in his arms. Pressing close she inhaled his sent. Like citrus and spice Kenshin's pleasant musk filled her senses. Kaoru's dim memories hadn't done him justice.

Gently, Kenshin pulled her into his lap his hands lifting her face. His touch was feather light as he traced her features.

"How could I forget this face?" he murmured pressing a chaste kiss to her forehead. His hands ghosted down her shoulders, encircling her slender waist. Wrapping her arms about him, Kaoru rested her head on his shoulder. Quietly, she murmured,

"Kenshin, I'm damaged. I didn't even recognize myself after the fire." Kenshin lifted her face,

"No, you're beautiful Kaoru and I- … I haven't been able to recall your face in years…" he fell silent his voice hitching in his throat. Tenderly, Kaoru lifted her hands to his face,

"Shhh, seven years is a long time, I've never stopped loving you. Even when my memories faded and I couldn't remember your voice." Kenshin's golden eyes held specs of lavender. He stared at her face as though he were memorizing her features. Finally, he said,

"I thought you were dead… there was a body…" Kaoru nodded her tears finally spilling over,

"And I can show you your grave…" Gently, Kenshin wiped away her tears.

"Shh, don't cry koishii." Kaoru shook her head and smiled though her tears,

"I'm so afraid that I'm going to wake up and find this was only a dream." Kenshin pressed her close.

"I will never leave you. Never. Not when I finally have you back." Kaoru lifted her head so she could see his face. Looking down at her Kenshin's breath caught. She was so beautiful. Her gray blue eyes sparkled with joy, even as crystalline tears trickled down her pale cheeks.

Softly, he kissed her full mouth. His hands moving to cradle her head, just as hers buried themselves in his hair. Gently, he took her full lower lip into his mouth and Kaoru opened her mouth granting him access.

Tilting her head back Kenshin kissed her deeply, his desperation almost palpable as he drew her close. His fingers threading through her long hair, he gently removed the tie, releasing her hair to tumble down her back. Long smooth waves of darkness, like liquid night, the ends just brushing the floor.

When they finally parted for air Kenshin turned his attention to the pale column of her throat, nipping gently at the soft skin beneath her jaw.

"You are mine Kaoru, and I will never let you go." Kenshin murmured. Gently, he pushed her down onto the futon. Kaoru watched him trustingly as he leaned over her, gently running the back of his hand across her cheek, before curling around Kaoru's small form. Pulling her close Kenshin pillowed her head on his shoulder.

"Sleep," he whispered, tenderly kissing her eyelids. Snaking his arms about her Kenshin pulled her lithe form flush to his muscled frame. Taking her hand in his he traced lazy patterns over the back of her hands, gradually following the thick scars that snaked up her arms.

* * *

Kenshin wasn't sure when Kaoru had drifted off. He was appalled by the extent of the scarring. Yet somehow, their presence grounded him. He couldn't seem to convince himself she wasn't some figment of his imagination. Even the feel of her soft warm body could not convince him. How many nights had he lain awake remembering her scent like jasmine and rain, or the feel of her silken hair?

He could never hurt her. The Kaoru of his memories was youthful and laughing, her spirit fiery, her heart unblemished. The woman lying in his arms was grave, but kind, her gentle nature forgiving and loving. What had he done to deserve a second chance?

Carefully, he hovered over her sleeping form, his weight supported on his elbows. In the dim lighting he could just make out her face. Gently, he carded his hands through her thick hair careful not to disturb her.

She slept so peacefully, it seemed as if no time had elapsed. A hundred fragments of memory flashed through his mind. Of Kaoru as she slept, as she laughed, her fiery temper. All the moments he's locked away in his heart so that they couldn't hurt him, flooded his mind. She was alive.

Tenderly, he brushed her bangs out of her sleeping face. Placing a soft kiss on her lips he lay beside her. Kenshin's arms wound securely about her, if she woke before him he would know. He needed to feel her, to know she was real. She was his and no one would ever take her from him again.

* * *

See, not so bad was it. Thank you for your patience (author bows) and wasn't it worth the wait?

School will be starting soon, so updates may be a bit slow, so I apologize in advance. It's not cause I don't love you, I blame society in general that forces me to attend school ^_^

I'd like to thank Twilightlvr5, RedWingedAngel002, miniwoo, Jmai, silverwingedwitch, Waii96, Ghost Reader, DarkStoneFeather, and Brukaoru for all your wonerful reviews. I appreciated all of your advice, thanks for taking the time to send it.

To ALL my readers, please review. My muse works very hard to turn out all these storys for your benefit. She works in a horribly dark, twisted workplace. Where not only is the pay nonexistent, but the work hours are practacly graveyard shift.. Please feed her. ^_^

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, if I did there would be a whole lot more Kaoru Kenshin relationship building... that and the Rurouni might have been forced to lose his cool a bit more ^_^


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